How to deal with excessive affection
63Dealing with PDA
The discussion should start a little differently. Right now he's being made to feel that he's wrong in expressing his love and affection for you. Instead the discussion you might want to have would be more of an explanation. This type of conversation would start with the fact that you both have differing ideals of what is appropriate levels of PDA. Think back to how each of you grew up and how your families helped shaped your current views on PDA. These things helped make you both who you are as individuals. Part of creating couplehood means that you need to blend your individual styles and ideals. In this case the thing to discuss is what each of you is comfortable with in regards to PDA after understanding why you both feel this way. Once you see how each of you feel then it is time to discuss how each of you could comprimise so that you are both more comfortable with your PDA shows.
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I guess my question is - what are your public displays of affection like for it to bother your family? Is it really overboard or is it overboard only for your family because they're not physically expressive? Also if your PDA is only a quick kiss here and there, then that's one thing, but if you are basically swallowing each other's tongues over and over again, then I guess the question everyone has is why do you need to get to that level in front of others? Here's a suggestion for you - next time you and your boyfriend are at your parent's ask them to get out the camcorder and tape you every time you start the PDA and make sure you do everything as you normally would. Then sit back and watch yourself the next day. How would you judge the person you are watching on the screen? Would it make you uncomfortable if you were sitting watching them in front of you? If there isn't a camcorder available, have your family count the number of times and how long each PDA moment (which you say is kissing) is. Then you have numbers to work with and you can decide if you feel it is excessive.
Its not so much at my parents house as at family gatherings with the WHOLE family. And no, its no more than quick kisses, and sometimes more or less hanging all over each other, but in front of your 80-year-old grandmother or your 6-year-old second cousin who thinks boys have cooties, that's A LOT. Also, while it may be nothing in a movie theater, in a Broadway stage theater its a little different. At home (and that does mean my parents' home) its fine, same with out with our friends. Its really just at adult gatherings that it becomes an issue.
Since I can't see what is happening I can only offer suggestions. I would assume that you are experiencing new love. New love can be experienced by anyone at any age but is primarily experienced in the first two years of a relationship. After two years that rush of excitement and sweaty palms dies down. I can't tell you why this happens, chemically, but it does. So, while being respectful of your 80 year old grandmother, enjoy every moment you can. Also know that sometimes when someone says "get a room" it has more to do with their issues (or they don't know what else to say - sad but true) then what you are doing. People can see you're in love, I've seen people say this term to a couple obviouslyin love, but they weren't even touching. So, if you know you're being respectful of others then don't spend another minute worrying about "them" because nothing you can do will change their minds.
Thanks :) I'm sure this problem will sort itself out eventually, and your words are certainly of help!
hit is ass in the mouth and tell him to coll that crap!
gale583 4 years ago
What I didn't have space to mention in the request was how I've had people (such as my mother) come to me both teasing and warning of how rude it is. She relays comments like "get a room!" from family friends, and mentions how older family members take notice. The discussion in question happened after my father said to me (before going to a movie together) "Let us sit in front of you so we don't have to watch you kissing the whole movie." I presented the issue to him in this context, that I've been getting teased, etc. His taking offence came from this blindsiding him so much.
Thank you for your hub, I will think of what you've said when I next attempt to adress this.